Woman Translations

At long last... The Men's Guide to what a woman really means when she says something. Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later).
* You want = You want
* We need = I want
* It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
* Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
* We need to talk = I need to complain
* Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
* I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
* You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
* You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
* I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.
* Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
* This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
* I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
* I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
* Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
* I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
* Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
* How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
* I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
* Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
* You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
* Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
* Yes = No
* No = No
* Maybe = No
* I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
* Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.
* Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
* I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
* All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
(THE ANSWER TO "WHAT'S WRONG?")
* The same old thing = Nothing
* Nothing = Everything
* Everything = My PMS is acting up
* Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a jerk
* I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam